NickydocDocs

So yeah.  My mother opened up a Facebook account.  It is one of those ideas that sound good fresh out of the gate but somehow manages to break a leg before the first turn.  I was absolutely delighted and amazed that my lovely mother decided to cross the electronic divide.  I'm a bona fide supporter of social networking.  In fact, it's hard for me to believe that I've only been at it for a couple of years.  (I signed up for an account on Twitter and posted my first tweet:  something like 'going to Louisville for [something or other]'.  Then silence for a several months.  When I decided to take a second swipe at it, the first response (from ACEWeekly, of course) was 'wow, that was one long trip to Louisville! Welcome back!'.  And, of course, the rest is history.

I am a good son.  That's one thing my mother got in the bargain.  While coming out to family is always traumatic for all parties involved, I made her a solemn promise: 'Mom,' I said, 'this is really gonna work out to your benefit in the end.  Mark me.  When all this passes, I'll cater to your every whim, dote on you with poetic sincerity, and love you with the power of a thousand suns.'  Needless to say, I've kept my word.  Life is easy for us now, although she's harder on my boyfriends that she EVER was with my girlfriends.  She's come to appreciate my tidiness, my obsession with punctuality, and, of course, my absolutely undying devotion to her.  She often comments on these things with a tenderness and clarity that defies belief.  I just say, 'When I say it's gonna rain, ya best set out ya TUB.'

So when my niece Marci set her up with a Facebook account, I was happy.  I posted it loud and proud on my facebook updates--encouraged all my friends to 'friend' her.  The first message I got from her said, 'I sent you a message but I'm not sure what happened to it.'  The SECOND message reads, 'I also sent you some pictures, but I'm not sure where they're at either.'  Several old (and new) friends have emailed me that they've sent her a friend request, but she hasn't yet responded.  I called her up on the phone today (as I do every single day) and said, 'hey ma, alot of my friends are trying to 'friend' you on Facebook.  What's up?'  She went on to tell me that she has absolutely no idea how to manage that yet, but she's getting a real kick out of looking at all the pictures out there of me and my sisters (all on Facebook).  

In fact, I suspect she's trying to post the 'baby booty on the bear skin rug' shot of me, or the one of me clad in a diaper complete with a gun belt, careening around our front yard trying to pee our dachshund  'Suzie'.  I felt more than a little angst initially.  My parents were picture-takers from WAY back.  There was always a polaroid around when my sister, Melanie, and I were young.  There are the shots of us on Easter pulling grass and rubbing it on our head because we really didn't know what it was...(to say we were over-protected could very well be the understatement of the year).  There are the shots of my Aunt Katherine running down the beach chasing after her 'falsies' after being knocked down by a wave.  There are old home movies of me in every state of dress (and un-dress) imaginable.  Yeah.  There's lots of stuff out there.

Somehow though, I don't think I mind it much.  (Even the senior pictures of me that definitely DIDN"T make it into the yearbook, looking like some odd hybrid between Rick Springfield  and a solid gold dancer.)  She's my mamma and to her, I was always beautiful.  

I suppose I'll have to tone down the raunch-factor, but something's always lost when something's gained.  She admittedly can't spell or type.  There's always the sanctuary of Twitter.